remembering thelma loretta

I remember the day my mom died. At the time I lived in the same apartment building as my parents. When I came home that evening my mom came out and waved at me and told me she loved me. It seemed unusual and I wondered why.

Suddenly I remembered my clothes in the laundry. It was late but I went outside to get them. When I did, I was accosted by a man with a gun. I screamed at the top of my lungs before he ran off. My mom ran down the stairs to see what was going on and, with all the excitement, she had a heart attack. Later that night she died.

I felt so guilty. If only I hadn’t gone to get those clothes from the laundry none of it would have happened. It should have been me instead of her. I “wished” it had been me instead of her. Eventually I realized it all happened as it was supposed to. She sensed something would happen that night. She “understood” and made sure to let me know she loved me.

I was left to do something great with my life or else what would be the point? Fast forward to today, I look back and know this night was the seed to the path I am traveling now – many, many years later.

I still feel Thelma Loretta with me, in my heart, guiding me on my journey. When I quiet myself in meditation and look within, I realize the wonderful gift she left me. To understand my true destiny. I am grateful.